HK and Cult Film News's Fan Box

Friday, May 29, 2009

July Releases From CBS Home Entertainment and Paramount Home Entertainment

PETTICOAT JUNCTION: THE OFFICIAL SECOND SEASON
The small farming community of Hooterville provided the setting for this highly successful rural situation comedy. Kate Bradley was the widowed owner of the only transient housing in town, the Shady Rest Hotel. Helping her run the hotel were her three beautiful daughters, Billie Jo, Bobbie Jo, and Betty Jo. Also assisting was the girls' lazy Uncle Joe, who had assumed the title of manager. In addition to her involvement with the hotel, the romantic lives of her daughters, and her association with the townspeople, Kate was constantly at odds with Homer Bedlow, vice-president of the C.F. & W. Railroad. Homer was determined to close down the steam-driven branch of the railroad that ran through Hooterville, scrap its lone engine (the Cannonball), and put its two engineers (Charlie Pratt and Floyd Smoot) out of jobs.

Actors: Bea Benaderet, Edgar Buchanan, Jeannine Riley, Pat Woodell, Linda Kaye Henning
Format: Box set, Color, DVD-Video, Full Screen, NTSC
Language: English
Number of discs: 5
Rating: Unrated
Studio: Paramount
DVD Release Date: July 7, 2009
Run Time: 919 minutes
Buy it at Amazon.com

MATLOCK: THE THIRD SEASON
"Matlock" is a legal drama series starring Andy Griffith as defense attorney Ben Matlock--a Harvard-educated, fiery Southerner who charges $100,000 a case to brilliantly defend his clients by finding the real killer.

Actors: Andy Griffith, Kene Holliday, Julie Sommars, Nancy Stafford
Format: Box set, Color, DVD-Video, Full Screen, Subtitled, NTSC
Language: English
Subtitles: English
Number of discs: 5
Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Studio: Paramount
DVD Release Date: July 7, 2009
Run Time: 953 minutes
Buy it at Amazon.com

HOTEL: THE FIRST SEASON
An elegant hotel in San Francisco is the setting for each multi-plot episode involving employees of the hotel and an entertaining variety of new guest each week.

Actors: Shari Belafonte, Heidi Bohay, James Brolin, Nathan Cook, Shea Farrell, Connie Sellecca, Michael Spound, Anne Baxter
Format: Box set, Color, DVD-Video, Full Screen, NTSC
Language: English
Number of discs: 6
Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Studio: Paramount
DVD Release Date: July 21, 2009
Run Time: 1169 minutes
Buy it at Amazon.com


THE LUCY SHOW: THE OFFICIAL FIRST SEASON
After the death of her husband, Lucy Carmichael and her friend, the recently divorced Vivian Bagley, move into a house together with their children. The series follows the adventures of the widow Lucy as she grapples with the comic complications of life on her own.

Actors: Lucille Ball, Vivian Vance, Jimmy Garrett, Ralph Hart, Charles Lane, Dick Martin, Candy Moore
Format: Box set, Color, DVD-Video, Full Screen, NTSC
Language: English
Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1
Number of discs: 4
Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Studio: Paramount
DVD Release Date: July 21, 2009
Run Time: 773 minutes
Buy it at Amazon.com

EARLY EDITION: THE SECOND SEASON (US ONLY)
An hour-long drama about Chicago native Gary Hobson who becomes a reluctant hero when his morning newspaper reports tomorrow's headlines. Commodities trader Gary Hobson is losing it: his job, his home, and his brilliant attorney wife. He thinks he may even be losing his mind when tomorrow's newspaper mysteriously arrives today--giving him a disconcerting look into the future. What will he do with tomorrow's news? While his best friend Chuck sees the newspaper as a ticket to personal gain, co-worker Marissa convinces Gary that the "early edition" should be used to better peoples' lives. So each day Gary begins anew the struggle to make sense of a world turned upside-down by the changing course of events that come from reading the "early edition."

Actors: Kyle Chandler, Shanesia Davis, Fisher Stevens
Format: Box set, Color, Dolby, DVD-Video, Full Screen, NTSC
Language: English
Number of discs: 5
Rating: Unrated
Studio: Paramount
DVD Release Date: July 28, 2009
Run Time: 1002 minutes
Buy it at Amazon.com

THIS AMERICAN LIFE: SEASON TWO
The widely popular, award-winning Chicago Public Radio program of the same name is now a Showtime series. Drawing on a different theme each week, viewers hear compelling stories from everyday folks culled from six months on the road. Host Ira Glass and company create a captivating look at the American Life in a series that's not quite documentary, not much of a news magazine and definitely not a reality show--it's simply unlike anything else.

Host: Ira Glass
Format: AC-3, Color, Dolby, Dubbed, DVD-Video, Widescreen, NTSC
Language: English
Number of discs: 1
Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Studio: Showtime Ent.
DVD Release Date: July 21, 2009
Run Time: 201 minutes
Buy it at Amazon.com
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

42nd St Pete Reviews A Sci-Fi Channel Movie this is Actually Good: Vipers

Vipers 2007 from Genius Entertainment with Tara Reid, Jonathan Scarfe & Corbin Bernsen. Directed by Bill Corcran

Usually I stay far away from these Sci-Fi Channel films, but this one isn’t bad, even with the CG snakes. A bunch of genetically engineered vipers escape from a lab and wind up on an island in the Pacific Northwest. Not only are they venomous, but carnivorous as well. Several victims are eaten, bones and all.

Bernsen, who has played the mad scientist or corporate prick in a bunch of films lately, sends a team to rescue the population of the island. Of course he has a plan to destroy the place to cover up any wrong doing. Bet he misses those LA Law paychecks.

Inasmuch as I hate CG effects, these are pretty good and the gore will appease some of the most jaded gorehounds. Sometime with the made for the Sci Fi Channel stuff, you have to get the DVD as they still cut out language, nudity and extreme violence. Hint: rent it before you buy it.


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42nd St Pete Reviews Jack Ketchum's The Lost

Lost 2008 from Anchor Bay Starring Marc Senter, Shat Astar, Alex Frost, Dee Wallace Stone & Ed Lauter. Directed by Chris Siverson.


It was about time that someone made a movie out of a Jack Ketchum novel. Jack is perhaps one of the best horror writers out there, but one who has been overshadowed for many years.


Lost is a twisted tale of a sociopath, Ray Pye, who terrorizes his small town. In the opening, Ray cold bloodily kills two girls who are camping (Misty Mundae & Ruby Laroca). One survives, but is brain dead. A detective(Michael Bowen) knows that Ray is guilty and is out to get him. Ray keeps his two companions in line with threats of violence.


Ketchum’s twisted tale of dead end, small town life is excellently done here. Rather than give up the ending, this is one that you have to see for yourself. Marc Senter gives a chilling performance as Ray Pye, a guy a lot of us knew during our high school years. These characters, in my life, always met the bad end we thought they would. This film captures the small town, dead end ambiance. All the performers are excellent and I hope to see more of Ketchum’s work translated into film. Let’s see who has the balls to do Off Season or Ladies Night.





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42nd St Pete Reviews Crap That Makes Him Want To Rip His Eyes Out: 100 Million BC, Feast 2, and Hell Ride

Some Reviews on some current stuff that is just a waste of electricity

100 Million BC 2008 Asylum Home Entertainment Starring Michael Gross, Greg Evigan, & Christopher Atkins. Directed by Louie Myman

Time travel epic with an elite team sent back in time to retrieve another team that was sent back in the 40’s . Premise is good, but the bad CG stuff kills it. Raptors attack and kill most of the rescue team. The T-Rex is red and Michael Gross looks pretty gross with his balding head covered with liver spots. Guess the budget didn’t allow for make up.

The 40’s women have 2000 style enhanced boobage, the CG stuff sucks and nobody noticed a bright red T-Rex roaming around LA at night. Christopher Atkins seems to be a fixture in these crappy films as of late.





Hell Ride 2008 from Dimension Extreme Starring David Carradine, Dennis Hopper, Larry Bishop & Vinnie Jones. Directed by Larry Bishop. Presented by Quentin Tarentino.

OK, in the Grindhouse scheme of things, biker films were low on the Richter scale. Most weren’t that good and if someone was going to write a book on that genre , it would be about 50 pages. The good ones were The Wild One, The Wild Angels, The Losers , Hells Angels ‘69 & Stone Cold. The rest pretty much sucked.

So now we get another QT presents 90 minutes worth of BS. A threadbare plot, a treasure that we never see, throat slashings, immolation's, sluts, shooting, and no freaking plot to go with them. This played for two whole days in my area before it was yanked because no one gave a shit. You would think with all the money Grindhouse lost that someone would reign QT in a bit. Hopper & Carradine seem to be there for name value as Carradine dies rather quickly. Total waste in my estimation.






Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds Starring Jenny Wade, Clu Gulager, & Diane Ayala Goldner. Directed by John Gulager. From Dimension Extreme.

I did have high hopes for this as I really liked the first one. Now this is being billed as a new “classic” horror series. Someone better look up the definition of classic because this isn’t it. Two survivors from # 1, the Bartender & Honey Pie are now holding off the CG monsters in a small town with an all girl biker gang, two midget wrestlers, and some other disposable characters. This plays out like a video game and that seems to be it’s target audience.

Some of it is funny, most of it sucks, especially the “autopsy” scene were people puke, get slimed, and get ejaculated upon. Yeah, you read right, the dead monster’s Ron Jeremy like wazoo winds up all over the cast. I could read into something here, but I won’t .Highlights are a baby getting eaten, a monster screw a cat, Clu beating the shit out of Honey Pie for running off in the first film, a dissolving old lady, and more slimy, pukey, fluids than an Annie Sprinkle porn film.

Obviously this film has an audience, but I’m not in it.


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Splinter DVD Review by 42nd St Pete

Splinter 2008 Directed by Toby Williams Starring Shea Whigham, Paulo Costanzo, Jill Wagner and Rachel Kerbs Released by Magnet DVD

Considering the pile of poop that is passed off for horror movies these days, this one was a real pleasure to watch. It’s a monster movie, a real goddamn monster movie with no CG, rap, or handicam nonsense. One location, four principle players, gore, shocks, and, for once, a credible storyline.

A gas station attendant is opening the place for the day when he is attacked by something furry and full of spikes. A couple is heading in that direction to camp out. Also headed in the same direction is an escaped con and his junkie girl friend. The two campers are taken hostage when the con’s car breaks down. They run over some kind of animal and blow out a tire. The animal has spikes sticking out of it like one of those sea urchins. They was also a sign by the road saying that this is a government test area.

While changing the tire, the Con gets a splinter in his finger, hence the title. The “dead” animal comes to like and the "Junkie Chic" freaks out. They arrive at the gas station to find it’s deserted. The junkie find the attendant in the rest room. He begs her to kill him. She runs back to the others, but is attacked by the attendant who “rips right through her”. The Con shoots the attendant who dies. They lock themselves in the place. The junkie seems to still be alive. The Con drags her toward the door, but she morphs into something and attacks. Her hand breaks off and gets in the place. The boyfriend, who is a biologist, sees that it feeds on blood.

He thinks it’s a fungus type parasite that uses it victims as hosts to attack others. The dead girl’s bloody corpse hammers her head into the glass door , trying to get in. It becomes a nerve racking game of cat and mouse as the creature attacks and absorbs a lady cop who shows up. The splinter in the con’s finger starts taking him over so an amputation is performed using a Stanley knife and a cinder block. I’m not going to reveal anything else as this has to be seen. A good plot, characters that you actually care about for a change, nasty effects, and overall, a great little film. I give it four stars easily.

Get the Blu-Ray and DVD of Spliner at Amazon





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Taken DVD Review by 42nd St Pete

Taken 2009 Directed by Pierre Morel Starring Liam Neeson, Famke Janssen and Maggie Grace

This one was a real surprise as the usually reserved Neeson is cast against type as an ex-CIA operative searching for his daughter, who is kidnapped by white slavers while vacationing in Europe. Using every dirty trick he knows to locate her, Neeson ups the violence quota by demolishing anything and anyone in his path.

Albanian white slavers(real scumbags) kidnap teenage tourists, hook them on drugs and put them in assembly line brothels. Neeson’s daughter and friend are “taken” soon after arriving in Paris. Neeson is informed that if he can’t find her in a certain amount of time, he will never see her again. Neeson outwits the law and the scumbags at every turn. Seems the head scumbags are well connected with the law. When the leader tells Neeson , that “it’s not personal, it’s business”, Neeson retorts by emptying a Glock into his twitching body.

Taken has its roots firmly planted in grindhouse exploitation. The crowd cheered Neeson as he cuts his way though an army of villains and bureaucrats. One of the better scenes has Neeson drive two iron spikes through the guy who kidnapped his daughter thighs and then attach jumper cables to them. He zaps him a few time then, after he gets what he wants, turns the juice on full blast and leaves the guy cooking. Neeson is a one man wrecking crew as he leaves a body count worthy of Charles Bronson. A must see.

You can get the the Blu-Ray and Regular DVD of Taken from Amazon.



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Black Emmanuelle, White Emmanuelle DVD Review by 42nd St Pete

Black Emmanuelle, White Emmanuelle Starring Laura Gemser , Annie Belle, Al Cliver, and Gabriele Tinti. Directed by Bunello Rondi. Released by Severin Films.


Also known as Emmanuelle in Egypt, this rather obscure entry in the Black Emmanuelle series has Laura Gemser being called Laura, her real name. She is a world class model with an abusive photographer(real life husband, Tinti). He forces her to pose with a dead dog in the stinking desert. They go to mansion and meet some weird people, including a crazy holy man(Al Cliver).


Another trip to out in the desert finds some recently dead bodies. He wants Laura to pose with them. She does, but the short haired, Anne Belle, gets a little pissed off. Eventually so does Laura and is chased across the desert and raped by her photographer. The two are constantly telling each other to go fuck themselves or calling each other pieces of shit. Makes you wonder about their off screen relationship. Laura runs away with Anne for some fun after she balks at posing on a huge pile of camel dung.


This film is very strange. One of the classy white women gets drunk and is raped by two Arabs in the desert. She is found by Anne, who tells her she doesn’t need men. Some of the film is in English, some parts, obviously restored, are in Italian. Laura flips out at a party. The Holy Man seduces Anne, who says she is leaving with him. Then changes her mind and wanders away with Laura as they both get naked and ‘fini” scrawls across the screen.


A bit too confusing and contrived for me, but Laura looks great, naked, half naked, or fully clothed. That is the reason for getting this DVD, if you’re a Laura Gemser fan, you want it, actually you need it and that’s the bottom line.


You can get Black Emmanuelle, White Emmanuelle from HK Flix


http://www.hkflix.com/xq/asp/filmID.543345/aid.85597/qx/details.htm


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The Story of Prunella DVD Review by 42nd St Pete

Story of Prunella 1982 Directed by Phil Prince, Starring Geoge Payne, Ron Jeremy, Ambrosia Fox, Niko, Dennis Christopher & Cher Champagne. Part of the Avon 7 Collection from After Hours.

Where most of your 1980s adult film directors stroked your libido with a velvet glove, Phil Prince stoked it with a fist wrapped in barbed wire. Phil made the nastiest films in porn history. While his output of films was small as compared to his contemporaries, Phil’s brand of erotica was soul corroding.


Story of Prunella is a well crafted descent into psycho sadism thanks to the acting talents of George Payne. Early on , Payne turns a prostitute (Cheri Champagne) into a disciple. Payne and two other lowlifes escape from prison and are met by Cheri who forgot to bring an escape vehicle. Cheri plays dead to trick a motorist into stopping. The vehicle that does stop contains the warden’s wife and daughter.


They force the women to take them to a bridal shower planned for Prunella. The three men and the woman sexual abuse and torment all of the women for an extended period of time. Hot on the trail of the foursome is detective Paul (Ron Jeremy), Prunella’s husband to be. Some of this may be hard for a first time viewer to watch. If your not familiar with Avon’s product, this ride may be too rough for some viewers, but Avon wasn't meant for everyone.


Payne’s tour de force performance is completely unhinged. He virtually destroys Prunella’s mind with his brutal rape and the filth that he spews out at her during the degrading rape may appall some viewers. Prince, a lot of his detractors said, took it too far. This may have been adult films climatic moment, as no one today, except our friends in Europe, would have the balls to go where Phil did.


The DVD comes with a Phil Prince Documentary. The documentary was interesting, but it seems that no one really knows much about Phil and what happened to him. Bill Landis (of Sleaziod Express) claimed that he shot an associate and was put back in jail. This has been proven inaccurate. Just watching Phil in the documentary makes you realize he may be a little off. Sources have said that Phil admired the work of Andy Milligan and other low budget film makers and tried to emulate them. Phil wanted to make movies. In Prunella, he succeeded. The plot is decent, though you can see a Last House on the Left influence. The players could actually act, which made all the degradation that more believable. Off the women, none were raving beauties, which also added to the back alley ambiance and realism of Prunella. The men all looked the part of degenerate thugs. Anyone wandering into the Avon 7 back in the day, thinking this was your typical sit down and enjoy it kind of a film, quickly had their libido flatlined.


Of course, a lot of viewers flocked to these films. Men who reviled in the degradation of women, were repeat viewers. From a historical aspect, this was one of the films singled out by the dreaded Meese Commission as the "most vile and violent examples of mob controlled pornography". Poor George Payne was put in the uncomfortable position of having to testify before that commission.


This release is only the tip of the Avon 7/After Hours iceberg. Check out the trailers, all of them are coming soon. These are taken off original prints that made the rounds of the Avon Grindhouses back in the day.


You can buy The Story of Prunella from Amazon and help support this website.





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Warner Brothers Presents Scoopy Doo: Where Are You Volume 2 on DVD

Let's face it fining children's programing to watch on a trip that is tolerable for both the child and the adult passengers can be a pain sometimes. Luckily, Warner Brothers comes through with 4 classic episodes from the 1970s Hanna-Barbra classic Scooby Doo: Where Are You? Scooby Doo is a show that both young and old can enjoy with it's perfect mix of humor, scares, and fun. Thus Scooby Doo Volume 2 makes the perfect thing to watch when taking a trip in the car or when you are just watching the kids at home. Volume 2 contains the Decoy for a Dognapper, What the Hex is Going On?, Never Ape an Ape Man, and Foul Play in Funland. There is also a bonus episode from the Shaggy & Scooby Doo Get a Clue series. All the episodes are the original versions and in the proper full frame aspect ratio and look and sound great. The total running time is about 88 minutes making it a comprable experience to watching a regular movie for children, but for the adult not feeling like your brain is melting from within because it's Shrek. So if you have kids or are just a fan of Scooby Doo, than this new WB Kids release is the perfect pick up for both young and old.
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Thursday, May 21, 2009

Fred Durst's THE EDUCATION OF CHARLIE BANKS coming to DVD June 30 from Anchor Bay Entertainment



ANCHOR BAY ENTERTAINMENT PROUDLY PRESENTS THE DVD RELEASE OF LIMP BIZKIT FRONT MAN FRED DURST’S DIRECTORIAL DEBUT

BEVERLY HILLS, CA –– A riveting tale about college students learning to deal with life, love, and ultimately facing their fears, THE EDUCATION OF CHARLIE BANKS is the critically lauded directorial debut from Limp Bizkit front man Fred Durst. Coming to DVD on June 30, 2009 (pre-book May 28, 2009), THE EDUCATION OF CHARLIE BANKS stars Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland, The Squid and the Whale), Jason Ritter (W, “The Class”), and Eva Amurri (Saved!, The Banger Sisters). Written by Peter Elkoff, the film also stars Christopher Marquette (“Joan of Arcadia”), Sebastian Stan (“Kings” & “Gossip Girl”), and Gloria Votsis. SRP is $29.97 for the DVD.

THE EDUCATION OF CHARLIE BANKS premiered to great acclaim at the 2007 Tribeca Film Festival, winning the prestigious Made In New York Award. The Hollywood Reporter’s Martin Grove hailed the film an “Impressive directorial debut.” Added Moving Picture Magazine’s Elliot Kotek, “Durst Has Delivered a Film of Pedigree.” “Stunning and Relevant” said Back Stage’s Simi Horowitz.

Charlie Banks’ (Jesse Eisenberg) sheltered world at his Ivy League campus is shaken when Mick (Jason Ritter), an old acquaintance with a violent past, unexpectedly shows up at his dorm room. Intrigued by Charlie's privileged lifestyle, the charismatic Mick quickly wins over Charlie’s friends and his crush, Mary (Eva Amurri) as he seamlessly integrates himself into Charlie’s life. Unnerved yet also in awe of Mick's easy charm, Charlie's unresolved feelings of jealousy, admiration and fear—as well as an unspoken secret between the two—threatens to come to a head with ruinous consequences.

Set in the early '80's against the backdrop of Greenwich Village's rough and tumble playgrounds and an elite academic institution in Upstate New York, THE EDUCATION OF CHARLIE BANKS is a stirring coming-of-age story about trusting your instincts, your friends and yourself.

The DVD extras include audio commentary with director Fred Durst and actor Jason Ritter, “Conversation behind The Education of Charlie Banks,” the theatrical trailer, and Sneak Peeks.

DVD Basics:
Street Date: June 30, 2009
Pre-book: May 28, 2009
Cat. #: DV15807
UPC: 0 1313 15807-9 2
Run Time: 101 minutes
Rating: R
SRP: $29.97
Format: 2.35:1 / 16 x 9
Audio: Dolby Surround 5.1
Subtitles: English SDH
Bonus Features: Audio Commentary with Director Fred Durst and Actor Jason Ritter
Conversations Behind THE EDUCATION OF CHARLIE BANKS
Theatrical Trailer
Sneak Peeks
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

SIMON SAYS -- DVD review by porfle

I think it's about time America finally acknowledged the fact that Crispin Glover is a national treasure. He's one of our most unique actors, upon whom we can always rely to give the kind of performance that nobody else could approximate or even imagine attempting to. I don't know where he goes to draw his inspiration, but it must be a strange and scary place. Whether moonily telling Lea Thompson "You are my density", out-weirding Dennis Hopper in RIVER'S EDGE, out-weirding Brad Dourif in DROP DEAD SEXY, being absolutely the only good thing in a "Charlie's Angels" movie, or simply getting kicked off the David Letterman show for being too much of a freak, he's one of a kind.

Except that in SIMON SAYS, he plays twins! Or does he? Simon is the sweetly-retarded one that Mom likes best, while Stanley is the jealous and hostile one who finally goes on a killing spree while the family is enjoying a camping trip in the forest. We see him kill Mom and Dad, and it looks as though he bashes poor Simon's head in with a rock. But we're not sure, because the next time we see them, they're co-managing a dumpy garage years later in those same woods. Still, we never see them both together at the same time, so...

Onto the scene toodles a gaily-painted van with exactly the cast of stereotypes you'd expect. There's Zack the stoner, Ashley the straight-laced "good girl", Riff the oversexed jock, Kate the girlfriend, and Vicky the slut. They're supposedly on their way to the river to camp out and pan for gold, but the real reason they're here is to get stalked, terrorized, and massacred. And boy, do they ever!

The actors play their roles to perfection, and the writers place them into a textbook series of cliched situations as though going down a checklist. Except that they twist things around a little here and there, just enough to keep us off-guard. And besides being a full-blooded charnel house of a horror flick, SIMON SAYS is also one of the funniest spoofs of the genre I've ever seen.

The best part is that nobody except Crispin Glover's character knows that it's a comedy. The rest of the cast play their parts as though they really are the worst bunch of overacting idiots from the worst 80s slasher flick ever made. I got the impression that the actors couldn't wait to inhabit these stereotypical nimrods and enjoy a delightful romp through the dopey side of slasher flick territory.

Zack the stoner (Greg Cipes) doesn't just smoke a lot of weed--he puffs like a smokestack even when he's running for his life. The group has barely pitched their tent before a shirtless Riff (Artie Baxter) pitches a tent in his pants when slutty Vicky (Carrie Finklea) comes on to him and they start making out behind Kate's (Margo Harshman) back. And good-girl Ashley (Kelly Vitz) is such an insufferable, prudish square--"SMORES!" she yelps giddily at the first sight of a campfire--that you just know she's got "last girl standing" written all over her. Oh, wait...no, she doesn't.

When Simon decides it's time to have some fun with these unfortunate idiots, all hell breaks loose. He has a penchant for creating intricate launching devices out of scrap machine parts and then loading them with pickaxes. In a couple of scenes the air is literally filled with a hail of twirling, swooshing, razor-sharp pickaxes as Simon calmly fires off round after round at his fleeing victims. It's wonderfully ridiculous to the point of hilarity.

The mayhem gets up-close and personal as well, as Simon goes on a bloodthirsty rampage that includes surrounding campers who are having a paintball war. Meat cleavers, hangings, and lots of dismemberment ensue. One victim is taken apart and stuck back together to form a festive troll doll with a CD-player mouth. Another gets to partake in a game of human tether ball with moving vehicles. Finally, there's a warm family gathering with Simon and his long-dead mom and dad around a picnic table where the last person (currently) standing must make a desperate attempt to escape. That is, after being offered a "hand" sandwich.

Through it all, Crispin Glover is at his flat-out nutty best. He revels in playing Simon (or is it Stanley?) in the broadest strokes possible, emoting his lopsided head off and grinning like a loon. He's also got the worst backwoods hick accent you ever heard, which just adds to the character somehow. ("Yew fuh-GOT...tuh say...Simon SAY-uz!") The scene in which he has a terrified captive strapped into the passenger seat of his wrecker truck is reminiscent of DEATH PROOF, but neither Kurt Russell nor Quentin Tarantino can do crazy like our boy Crispin. And hey, Bruce Glover is perfect as his dad in the flashbacks--it never occurred to me before that the guy who played the demented Mr. Wint in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER was Crispin's real-life dad, but somehow it all makes sense now.

For a movie of this type, SIMON SAYS looks great--writer-director William Dear has some gorgeous northern California locations to work with, and he shoots the whole thing with style. Once things get started, the pace never lets up. Even the sound design is noticeably better than average. I watched a screener so I can't comment on the DVD's bonus features, but they are listed as: director's commentary, storyboard comparisons, and stills gallery. The movie is widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound.

If you don't like Crispin Glover, then you should disregard a major portion of what I just said. If you don't like slasher movies, or even moreso, slasher movie spoofs, then you should disregard really big chunks of it. But if my description of SIMON SAYS sounds even remotely intriguing to you, then Simon says "check it out." (You knew that was coming, right?)


Buy it at Amazon.com
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Sunday, May 17, 2009

EDEN LOG -- DVD review by porfle

Dark, gritty, and downbeat, the French sci-fi/horror thriller EDEN LOG (2007) begins in the depths of the earth with an intriguing mystery that is slowly revealed as the main character fights his way level by level toward the surface. Credit first-time director Franck Vestiel and his co-scripter Pierre Bordage for coming up with something different while still recalling familiar echoes of films past.

Clovis Cornillac plays Tolbiac, a man who wakes up in the wreckage of some huge subterranean facility called Eden Log with no memory of who he is or how he got there. A recorded message cheerfully informs him that workers who have toiled long enough in the dark depths earn the right to ascend to the surface and enjoy the paradise that they've helped to create. But apparently something's gone wrong with this system, as the place is trashed and overrun with hideous attacking mutants.

It all has to do with some huge, weird treelike plant growing upward through the core of Eden Log, from which limitless energy is derived even as its roots emit a viral toxin that turns unsuspecting workers into mutants. A female botanist hiding out on the science level of the facility tells Tolbiac of a revolt which took place when the scientists discovered the dastardly secrets behind Eden Log's methods and tried to publicize them. Together, the two climb toward freedom amidst rampaging mutants and hostile security guards, while the apparently infected Tolbiac shows signs of transforming into a monster himself. Before it's all over, the deepest, darkest secret of all is finally revealed.

Elements of METROPOLIS, 1984, and THX-1138 combine with the look and feel of rusty, crusty sci-fi flicks such as HARDWARE and PITCH BLACK to give EDEN LOG its own unique atmosphere. The set designer must've had a field day creating all this cool futuristic stuff and then trashing it. Some of the found locations are awe-inspiring. Very little CGI is in evidence until the end, making this seem almost like a welcome visual throwback to the good old days. As for the mutants, the masks and body suits are exceptionally well-rendered.

The story's a real page-turner too, stringing us along until the final twist. We experience it through Tolbiac's eyes as he strives to recover his identity and find answers while dealing with the horror of slowly losing his humanity. This is illustrated most effectively in one of the film's best sequences. The botanist removes her protective suit to reveal a beautiful woman--she stops Tolbiac in his tracks. Slowly, they begin to kiss and then passionately make love. During the act, however, we see disturbing flashes of a different reality, in which the woman is struggling, screaming, and Tolbiac is on her like a wild beast. Only too late does his frenzied mind become clear enough for him to realize that he's raping her.

Clovis Cornillac, with his piercing eyes and aggressive physicality, is very effective in the lead role. He reminds me of a young Harris Yulin, which is a good thing. As the botanist, the beautiful Vimala Pons makes a strong impression and I wish her part had been larger. Director Vestiel keeps the action moving at a fast clip, giving us little time to catch our breath along the way. Composers Alex and Willie Cortés contribute one of those evocative ambient scores that I wouldn't mind having in my CD player.

The DVD is in 1.85:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital 5.1 and 2.0 sound. There's an English-language soundtrack with Spanish captions available. If you click "Special Features" you get the original French soundtrack, which comes with both English and Spanish captions.

Which language you listen to while watching the movie isn't all that important, actually. There isn't much dialogue, and the visuals recall some of the best qualities of classic silent films such as METROPOLIS, right down to the expressive acting styles of the two leads and a deliberate dearth of color. But as derivative as it may sound, EDEN LOG stands on its own as a unique and haunting piece of imaginative filmmaking.


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